The “SAVVY” AND IT’S UNFOLDING
In reference to this terminology, and its etymology of the word savvy, I would like to demonstrate it through an event that happened in my life. It’s not only that, this specific ‘event in life’ that explains away the word ‘savvy’ but it’s a nice example. And also because ‘that’s savvy ‘ is not bounded only by humans. As I mentioned in the page of Louis Beelen (the artist) of Louvain’s history. SAVVY (sapere/sapient: be wise be knowing)( sapient: ‘ well-acquainted with the true value of things).
It started within the period of my 40to 44 th anniversary. It started with a kind of destructive wave and by that I mean that you start feeling that things are breaking down and then you have another aspect, another breakdown, etcetera, cetera , cetera and that’s what I mean by ‘a wave ‘of destructive patterns because that’s the only thing that is real about it. It is a pattern and it is your own pattern. Nobody outside is responsible or to blame. I felt helpless with more of an inside nature meaning that if people want to get you out of that situation, they will not be able to help even though there helping. In the beginning all that you want is to be freed out of this condition out of it. But that’s just it, there is no ‘it’, nobody around you is sharing that same ‘it’ All you wanna do is trying to place it. Even here in this story, a horse accompanied me. The horse that would fulfil all of my dreams, that’s what I thought so. The name I gave this horse is ‘ W’ I was very proud that I matched a stallion with a mare, it would be a perfect match. I think you already know where this is going. He had every credentials to fulfil a top level of dressage. The only thing that he didn’t want to do was work. I ended up by doubting everything up that period, doubting my skills in training horses, my love for the horses. I was blaming myself for things that went wrong. I could not place it. I could not get out of it. In fact I did not recognise myself anymore. Looking back now, I can smile and say now, even in those times, horses were accompanying me true life. And he did help me getting through this because that’s the moment where Nicky and Ben came into my life. That’s where I met Ben and a whole new way on working horses. For me now, when there comes a destructive wave, I behave differently towards it.
So in these times, there was a lack of enthusiasm in working horses. It seems that the period of training young horses was over and more specific also everything that had to do with basic training. Also, when I went to the kids at home, to train their horses, it became to difficult. Meaning I had to drive a long time and I could do one or two persons on a day so sooner or later I had to revise this kind of work. I needed, no I wanted a place on my own , my own horses my own ponies. I wanted a home, my home. I was done working for somebody. I knew it was not going to be easy.. I was a single mom with two kids and a part-time job in the hospital. The worst of all was not that even if I won the lottery and build a house and everything….. there was something else something deep inside me : I lost contact. I lost that specialness.with the animals and horses. I could not sense them anymore neither I couldn’t get any good feeling out of it as a matter of fact I couldn’t feel anything anymore. It was then that Nicky decided to take me to Colorado for a clinic of Ray Hunt . It was a change in scenery, that’s for sure, but I didn’t want anything to do with it. I lost something that I could not get back.
So, a morning like the other days, I dropped off Nicky at Ray Hunt’s clinic, took the car, drive away and decided if I would stop somewhere. That day I did stop, and I went up for a walk into nature. It was an unspoiled forest where you didn’t know where to go right or left or back or forward. A good way to get lost, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have any food nor drinks, but I had my camera. Suddenly, I came across an area of low branches of young trees. When I pushed aside one of those branches I came in contact with a kind of deer it was a young male. I think about two years old because he had two antlers. He was just grasping a little leaf of those young branches, but I could see clearly his left eye watching me. He didn’t move. I didn’t know why. I took a picture and again he didn’t moved , and I didn’t know why. Then, back behind me I heard branches cracking. When I turned around, I understood immediately why he was not running away. I ended up in the middle of a herd. And one by one, I saw them showing up. It took my breath away. And at that moment spending a few minutes within the herd, it felt like I was a kind of forgiven , because I had my feel again it was like it was placed back. Everything was good. I can’t explain nor do I want to reason it away, that moment the feel in connection to animals was back. When we came back from Colorado, I accepted that ‘W’ or more specific my relation to ‘W’ had casted a shadow onto my ‘gaines’. I worked ‘W’ like usual , meaning, a half hour for getting him out of the prairie ( approaching him was never a problem) but he wouldn’t move, it was like playing chess . Who could move the other first. I remember times where I stood in the rain, that somebody bring me my raincoat because I could not let go of the pressure I placed on the rope waiting for him to make the release. He was not easy to give in and that build up a kind of hopelessness and most of the time it took me two hours and a half before I even could start riding, and once I was on top of him, Nicky would take me with her horse Bueno , for a walk. I still can see the image about ‘W’ for no reason of what reason, he stopped . While Nicky with Bueno continued to make the distance. I didn’t know what I was going to do. Best was wait for him to move again because if I pushed he was capable of hurting himself to prevent from moving. He could climb up the slopes and much other things where he quit hurt himself. The last time I worked him, was on my birthday and 4 hours later I came back from my walk stepped off and told him and myself this was the last time. It overshadowed all the other horses that I was riding and I decided that I wouldn’t let it continue to be overshadowed. I needed to come to terms with myself and once done that ‘W’ continued to live for several years at my place.
